What's missing? A conversation about relations and sex....

Kita:     …..having no physical outlet is not helping. I may take kickboxing.

Milele:  You need to stop playing and get you some lol

Kita:     The few men I am attracted too are not reciprocating my energy so I wait. I can't do anymore bad sex. EVER

Milele:  Bad sex sucks and not in the good way

Kita:     Right. So I can have my choice of bad sex or wait for meaningful sex. I gave all the loving away I need too for a lifetime.

Milele:  Wait bad sex can be meaningful and meaningful sex can be bad. Sex is like having a meal. What you put into it is what you get out of it.  Men often enjoy sex more simply because they don’t hold back. They put their all into enjoying it and reaching orgasm. That is why most of them have sex... to cum. We as women often do it for "deeper" reasons that go beyond the cumming. At times we will even forgo the orgasm for the physical and emotional closeness

Kita:     Not always. It's the sex talk. Pre, during and post. The mind sex often can hurt the actual sex.  I feel far too often men won't just be honest. "I like you and would love to share my body with you." Instead they "play date" you and feed you all the ideals of a relationship with no actual intention of having one.  I know that at this age I can't have sex without feelings. I don't work that way, some can.  But what I can work with is honesty.

Milele:  Because the majority of women would not just go for that type of honesty. At first we may be down but eventually we would "want more" so they try to appease us while getting what they want as well

Kita:     If you want a physical friendship say so. No games or BS. More women want them than men think.

Milele:  Most men want "something deeper" too they just aren’t taught how to find that in things other than sex

Kita:     Yes' we want an emotional connection that is something that will happen organically with two individuals.

Milele:  It is something that SHOULD happen organically but if the individuals aren’t on the same wave it will cause problems

Kita:     But I feel the biggest problem is peoples fear to be themselves. Some of us are very sexual beings and if that is done in a healthy way it is great. But many lie there way into peoples minds and beds just to CUM. SMH

Milele:  It is fear AND  lack of knowledge of who they are

Kita:     That is the issue. Many of us (single people) are still in fear of being our true selves. Of healing from our past and not using it as a guide book.

Milele:  It isn’t just single people. It is all of us. Being in a relationship is NO indication of personal growth.

Kita:     That's true.

Milele:  Just like not being in one is not an indication of a lack a development

Kita:     Dysfunctional relationships are all the rave now.

Milele:  Consider this….. Most people who are considered "spiritual, enlightened" aren’t married, those who are do not put their relationships first. Personal development is what should come first as you grow those around you grow

Kita:     I can count on one hand the actual enlightened people I know. Some are working toward enlightenment and others are the walking dead

Milele:  I’m speaking of monks, nuns, "holy" people who dedicate their life to personal development and the development of others

Kita:     Awww… There are non holy people who do the same. I am very selective who I share with and why. Sex is more that a series of temporary sensations for me.

Milele:  Again we are all bumping around in a box that doesn’t fit trying to find love, joy and happiness in a society that doesn’t promote that.  Think of the story you had me read; the couple were the same two people. What changed was their environment *I really did like the story* when they got anyway from the bullshit of THIS society they began to change. THEN their relationship got better

Kita:     I knew you would like the story. I thought of you when I reread it and had to share it.

But today people seem to live for the BS.  They social network about it, they watch and read it and when there is a lull they create it.  What happened? We all wanted to get along at one point now all people seem to want is to fuck and fuck over people

Milele:  Because this is all they know. Until something or someone opens theirs eyes to something different.  People are by nature good. Put them in positive surroundings and you will see a change

Kita:     See that statement "we are good by nature" often feels like BS. I know that we are all naturally loving and good but why do we lose that for tangible things and false ideals.

Milele:  Because we are TAUGHT to. It isn’t by accident. It is systematic and strategic.  Think of the 30 days of positivity. Some people really struggled with posting daily or even thinking of some things as positive but as time went on everyone was able to find something to share or write about.  That is a victory!  So understand that YOU have changed and become more sensitive and grown. You are in transition, and while you are, things won’t always be comfortable; but keep your goal in mind and stay focused. What/who you need will come

Kita:     Transition is a hard and very raw place to be in. I am aware and far too sensitive to all things so I help but I also guard myself and my heart.

Milele:  That is your first mistake thinking you are too sensitive. You are not. We desensitize ourselves because of fear and phantom pains

Kita:     Nurture killed nature for many.

Milele:  Not at all

Kita:     Explain... Why, you do feel, nurture didn't kill nature?

Milele:  Because our nature is to nurture.  We by nature are loving, nurturing beings.

Kita:     Indeed

Milele:  Society molds us from birth to be what it wants us to be. Schools, media, churches, etc. guide how we behave in order to cultivate the type of person it wants.  We must ALWAYS remember this We are not what's fucked up, this society we live in is the problem.  Once we understand that we can work to be fully who and how we truly are with each other

Kita:     True. I think that's why I do the 30 days. I often watch my FB timeline and see that positive energy is needed for me and others. So I start a challenge. I find people who are like minded and put it out there. It's for me more than anyone else could ever know.

Milele:  And it is for everyone else more than you could know ;)

Kita:  : ) I know. My friend request shows that too.

Milele:  Indeed

Kita:     Until I find a spirit worthy of my energy I will keep it to myself. But celibacy is hard but not impossible.

Milele: Yet