Black Youth in Pale spaces (Systematic trauma)

It is 2022 and we are still surviving, thriving, reclaiming and healing from centuries of cultural warfare globally.  

Many of us are embracing therapy and other healing practices to ensure we are mentally, physically and spiritual healthy as we live "Our best lives". Everywhere we go someone is "unpacking" an issue in order to improve their mental health.  Many times we focus on interpersonal relations as the cause of our trauma but don't focus on the larger overarching systematic aspects. We work to create "safe spaces" in an world designed by PWNC (People with no color) to be unsafe for People**

Franz Fanon said in White Skin Black Masks that "..A normal Negro child, having grown up in a normal Negro family, will become abnormal on the slightest contact of the white world."

With that in mind we will be addressing the systematic trauma (trauma being our emotional response to a distressing experiences) for Black youth in Pale spaces.

Desegregation school programs are extremely harmful to our youth currently and have been harmful to young people for decades. Those systems took us out of the safety of our homes and communities and put us in the belly of the beast. We had to adopt to their way of speaking, dressing, eating, thinking and living to be "successful". That adaptation and success meant denying, judging and suppressing our family and cultural practices.

 

In these programs we spent the majority of our waking hours traveling to and from and being inside their schools and communities.  Most productive hours of our days were spent away from our homes were we were comfortable, families who loved us and communities built by and for us. This separation caused disconnects between our people and pulled funds, resources, skills and talent from our communities. 

It was/is a systematic way to control academic advancement while appearing to do good.  White schools got more funding and resources for "accepting" millions of new young people without having to use the resources to accommodate the people they were bringing in. Our young people were forced to assimilate to foreign culture without even understanding what was happening to them.  Parents were forced to choose between thriving schools with excellent facilities with unloving, unwelcoming  environments for their children and culture or run down schools with poor facilities. Though we had some Schools of our own we did not receive the same support or resources. 

Children found themselves not fitting where they were shipped to because of their Blackness and also being disconnected from their communities because they adapted so much whiteness for survival. Children begin to deny or demean their family/cultural practices and tradition as a means of survival in the spaces they spent most of their time. Our families begin to conflict more because of the aspects of white culture that was being brought into our homes and minds. Adults found themselves having to to explain, justify and defend their family/cultural practices and traditions to children being taught externally to challenge and deny it. Though many families worked through the issues because of the love we have for each other it still caused harm, distance and judgement for our adults and youth.

As children we experienced cultural shaming, linguistic suppression, social isolation, combative authority figures, classism, colorism and so much more emotional abuse daily as their bodies, minds and spirits were developing.  Everything about us as people was contrary to the spaces we were in yet we... we had to adopt, adjust and keep moving forward. We developed many mental and social issues as children because of this that went unaddressed and misunderstood.

Many of us had healing or comfort  in going to HBCUs (Historically Black College or University)  or joining Black focused clubs, organizations and unions in PWI (Predominately white institution) however the long term emotional impact of being in foreign spaces and treated as less than or being given pet status still causes us unrecognized trauma.

As we embrace therapy designing for us and other avenues for healing we must understand and factor the impact of systematic trauma and how to recover from that. Hopefully examining these elements that are often swept under the rug will help us heal, reconnect to ourselves, families and culture.  Most importantly we have to understand the cause and source of our trauma to heal.

How did going to PWI impact you in your youth?  How does the impact manifest in you life and relationships today?

 

**People is used as default for Black, Afrikan people

Black, Afrikan, Human (Synonymous) Culture

One of our biggest challenges as a people in our advancement and healing is the loss of culture. Culture is how we live, cook, talk, raise our children, interact with each other, wear our hair, think, celebrate, share resources, express ourselves and operate in every aspect of life.  Denying us our right to exist freely and be self-determining remains a key element in our systematic oppression.  Without getting too too  deep into the history of our systematic oppression: I’ll say that for over 6 thousand years our lands have been invaded (globally), resources stolen, culture suppressed, and  our people abused.  In order for us to heal, advance, rebuild and live freely we must understand the things that come from us naturally (since most of them  or belittled and shunned by the dominating culture of the current world) and learn to embraces them.  Without us having full knowledge of our history or early cultures, we continue our legacy in our homes, families, communities, relationships and life. Though our culture has been stripped from us we continue to hold on consciously, innately and unconsciously to the core things that keep us Black, Afrikan, human.

Core things of our Black, Afrikan, human cultures:

Matrilineal social structure: We treat women with respect and honor. Women run the affairs of the homes and society.  We can still see that in our homes and communities today.

Collective, connective trusting:  We are loving, kind, giving, trusting, social people naturally.  We consider others and work to make sure everyone is “straight, cool, good, aight, taken care of”.   We want others to succeed and we work together as much as possible.

Holistic and Ecological: We are concerned about nature and other living things. We recycle, reuse, share, and work not to cause harm.  We believe everything has the right to live and exist freely

Soulful and lively:  We have soul!  We are colorful, expressive, vibrant, sensitive, rhythmic, loud, boisterous, fun, energetic, and  amazing people.  We do everything with style.

Proud and respectful:  Say it loud…  We are confident, self-assured, and  love ourselves. We treat people with respect whether we know them or not.  We take pride in the things we do.

Intuitive and spirit-based:  We have a deep connection to the invisible world no matter what our religion or spiritual practices are. We are feeling  people who are able to sense things beyond what we see, hear, touch, taste and feel.

 

This is not by any means an exhaustive list, in fact it is just the tip of our iceberg.  This is, however , what is natural and normal to our people all over the world.  If we really pay attention, we can see all these things in each of us despite our state of being.  

Challenge:  Look at your life, family, friends, community and point out how these show up. Post below or just keep it in mind.

(For example “My grandmother ran the house, My family has always had a garden, If the vibe aint right I can tell….)

                 

Asante Sana Dr. Worth Hayes for your invaluable input

OUR (Afrikan-Black-Human) WAY

It is imperative that our perspective: The Afrikan perspective isn't lost.  

Being the first humans and custodians of the world is not something to be taken lightly or reduced to random distorted reports about "archeological discovery".  

Our civilizations that lived in peace for hundreds of thousands of years should be studied by as many Black people as possible and used a the standard way of living. 

Our history gives us foundation, understanding, continuity and guides us in developing and reestablishing a worldwide humane way of thinking and operating.   

My blog posts will focus on learning about Afrikan-Black-Human cultures, history, traditions, systems, sciences, rites, language, worldview and more.

I will also feature black scholars who have researched, studied, documented and been initiated into our vast history.  

The stark difference between our natural humane way of living and the savage way that we have been subjected to over the past 20- 30 centuries will be revealed and examined. 

This will be a fun, inspiring, challenging, arousing and intriguing experience for all

You ready to learn? 

***Yeah its been 5 years since my last blog. Thats how life works some time.

Show me your truth and Ill show you mine

I'm one of those "None of your business, stay in a child's place" parents because I am not going to lie to my sons however at the same time there are things they don't need to be exposed to and things that are not beneficial for them to have to try to process.  I temper my words with them to ensure that I am honest yet I TRY to also be discreet (not my strong suit)

Check out my old blog post "Honestly Honest" about how we lie to our children and teach them to lie inadvertently

In my 40 years of experience (sounds official doesn't it?) One of the things that often comes to question is "Honesty". 

What do we share, when do we share it, how much do we tell, what reasons we don't tell, who do we tell, why do we tell one person but not the other, etc.  On one hand we are encouraged to be completely honest in all aspects of life on the other hand we are told to use discretion when sharing certain things.  Growing up I was one of those super honest children who said what I felt and thought and did ALL the time.  Whiles others got in trouble for not telling the truth I often got in trouble for telling the truth or saying what I thought about situations or people.  To this day I still struggle with the notion of "discretion, secrecy, confidentiality and anything else that deals with not putting all my cards on the table."  I've always felt that I should disclose all the information so that those I'm interacting with can make sound and realistic choices.  I didn't want anyone to say I tricked them or misled them. 

Another key thing that I have learned is that "my truth" may not be the real truth.  Perception plays a major role in what we call truth. I have also learned that at times "truth" can be damaging and cause more harm that telling a "little black lie", omitting certain things or softening the gravity of things.   

In 2015 I posted about our responsibility in honesty

"We have the responsibility to be honest AND righteous in ALL of our relationships: personal, sexual, professional, platonic, spiritual and all others. Simply being honest isn’t enough. You can be honest and be abusive, negligent, mean, distance, etc. We sometimes use “honesty” as an excuse to operate from our lower selves. When we use justifications like “Well I told them what to expect; they knew how I was before they got involved; I was honest about my intent; that’s just business, I never lied…” we take away our personal responsibility to be righteous. It is not someone else’s responsibility to not be hurt, used, abused or otherwise mistreated by us, it is OUR responsibility not to do those things to them. We can not do harm to others because they allow it then fault them because we were “honest” about our intent to do harm (well we can but it is not righteous). To be human means not only being erectus but also being moral and developed. When we treat people poorly under the guides of “honesty” we deny our humanity. We have the choice at every moment of every day to be a better person and to treat others in a manner that shows our humanity. Be honest AND righteous and see what rewards life will bring to you"

Far to often we use truth and information as a weapon to keep the upper hand or put ourselves in a more favorable position.  We are taught the "Knowledge is power" and so we wield truth, facts, information like a sword protecting our fragile ego and temporary comfort zones.  Even in our closest relationships we use it as a bargaining tool to get what we want to have others bend to our will. Ultimately for me honesty is one of the most sincere gifts you can give to those closest to you, it is a form of intimacy that we guard so heavily in this society because of how our "truths" can be used against us and how vulnerable we feel because of them. 

In my books (though fictional) I share my beliefs, practices, and perceptions of love, life, relationships and those things sacred to me in an honest manner.   Even the title "Confessions..." speaks to sharing our truths. Honesty is a way of being more humane and deeply connected to those we chose and who chose us. 

 

So I now I pull back from situations to assess what things are true and beneficial for all parties involved and then I shape my truth and actions around that.

What are your thoughts of honesty? 

Sex talk: What are we REALLY saying? 2016 Edition

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