Kita: …..having no
physical outlet is not helping. I may take kickboxing.
Milele: You need to
stop playing and get you some lol
Kita: The few men I am attracted too are not
reciprocating my energy so I wait. I can't do anymore bad sex. EVER
Milele: Bad sex sucks
and not in the good way
Kita: Right. So I can have my choice of bad sex
or wait for meaningful sex. I gave all the loving away I need too for a
lifetime.
Milele: Wait bad sex can be meaningful and meaningful
sex can be bad. Sex is like having a meal. What you put into it is what you get
out of it. Men often enjoy sex more
simply because they don’t hold back. They put their all into enjoying it and
reaching orgasm. That is why most of them have sex... to cum. We as women often
do it for "deeper" reasons that go beyond the cumming. At times we
will even forgo the orgasm for the physical and emotional closeness
Kita: Not always. It's the sex talk. Pre, during
and post. The mind sex often can hurt the actual sex. I feel far too often men won't just be
honest. "I like you and would love to share my body with you."
Instead they "play date" you and feed you all the ideals of a
relationship with no actual intention of having one. I know that at this age I can't have sex
without feelings. I don't work that way, some can. But what I can work with is honesty.
Milele: Because the majority of women would not just
go for that type of honesty. At first we may be down but eventually we would
"want more" so they try to appease us while getting what they want as
well
Kita: If you want a physical friendship say so.
No games or BS. More women want them than men think.
Milele: Most men want "something deeper" too
they just aren’t taught how to find that in things other than sex
Kita: Yes' we want an emotional connection that
is something that will happen organically with two individuals.
Milele: It is something that SHOULD happen organically
but if the individuals aren’t on the same wave it will cause problems
Kita: But I feel the biggest problem is peoples
fear to be themselves. Some of us are very sexual beings and if that is done in
a healthy way it is great. But many lie there way into peoples minds and beds
just to CUM . SMH
Milele: It is fear AND lack of knowledge of who they are
Kita: That is the issue. Many of us (single
people) are still in fear of being our true selves. Of healing from our past
and not using it as a guide book.
Milele: It isn’t just single people. It is all of us.
Being in a relationship is NO indication of personal growth.
Kita: That's true.
Milele: Just like not
being in one is not an indication of a lack a development
Kita: Dysfunctional
relationships are all the rave now.
Milele: Consider this….. Most people who are
considered "spiritual, enlightened" aren’t married, those who are do
not put their relationships first. Personal development is what should come
first as you grow those around you grow
Kita: I can count on one hand the actual
enlightened people I know. Some are working toward enlightenment and others are
the walking dead
Milele: I’m speaking of monks, nuns, "holy"
people who dedicate their life to personal development and the development of
others
Kita: Awww… There are non holy people who do the
same. I am very selective who I share with and why. Sex is more that a series
of temporary sensations for me.
Milele: Again we are all bumping around in a box that
doesn’t fit trying to find love, joy and happiness in a society that doesn’t
promote that. Think of the story you had
me read; the couple were the same two people. What changed was their
environment *I really did like the story* when they got anyway from the
bullshit of THIS society they began to change. THEN their relationship got
better
Kita: I knew you
would like the story. I thought of you when I reread it and had to share it.
But today people seem to live for
the BS. They social network about it,
they watch and read it and when there is a lull they create it. What happened? We all wanted to get along at
one point now all people seem to want is to fuck and fuck over people
Milele: Because this is all they know. Until something
or someone opens theirs eyes to something different. People are by nature good. Put them in
positive surroundings and you will see a change
Kita: See that statement "we are good by
nature" often feels like BS. I know that we are all naturally loving and
good but why do we lose that for tangible things and false ideals.
Milele: Because we are TAUGHT to. It isn’t by
accident. It is systematic and strategic.
Think of the 30 days of positivity. Some people really struggled with
posting daily or even thinking of some things as positive but as time went on
everyone was able to find something to share or write about. That is a victory! So understand that YOU have changed and
become more sensitive and grown. You are in transition, and while you are,
things won’t always be comfortable; but keep your goal in mind and stay
focused. What/who you need will come
Kita: Transition is a hard and very raw place to
be in. I am aware and far too sensitive to all things so I help but I also
guard myself and my heart.
Milele: That is your first mistake thinking you are
too sensitive. You are not. We desensitize ourselves because of fear and
phantom pains
Kita: Nurture
killed nature for many.
Milele: Not at all
Kita: Explain...
Why, you do feel, nurture didn't kill nature?
Milele: Because our
nature is to nurture. We by nature are
loving, nurturing beings.
Kita: Indeed
Milele: Society molds us from birth to be what it
wants us to be. Schools, media, churches, etc. guide how we behave in order to
cultivate the type of person it wants.
We must ALWAYS remember this We are not what's fucked up, this society
we live in is the problem. Once we
understand that we can work to be fully who and how we truly are with each
other
Kita: True. I think that's why I do the 30 days.
I often watch my FB timeline and see that positive energy is needed for me and
others. So I start a challenge. I find people who are like minded and put it
out there. It's for me more than anyone else could ever know.
Milele: And it is for
everyone else more than you could know ;)
Kita: : ) I know. My
friend request shows that too.
Milele: Indeed
Kita: Until I find a spirit worthy of my energy I
will keep it to myself. But celibacy is hard but not impossible.
Milele: Yet
