Confessions.... by Milele

Many people have asked me about my books “Confessionsof a faithful Woman” (2012) and “Confessions of a Sage Woman” (2016) so I decided to provide an overview…

Sex is a spiritual act though many of us are never consciously taught how to use it for healing, enlightenment and manifesting things in the ways it was meant to. As adults the over whelming majority of us will have an active sex life until we transition to the next phase of existence and sex is an act that involves all facets of our being.   Those of who do not have a “sexual” life will still have a “spiritual” existence that involves intimacy, connection, enlightenment and interpersonal relationships.

With this in mind I decided to write a series of books to teach lessons while challenging status quo perspectives on love, sex, gender roles, marriage, relationships and how we should function and operate on a daily bases.

Both books are part of the “Confessions of a...” series which is a collection of stories, sage wisdoms and poems written to arouse every aspect of the reader.  I write to educate people about universal, revolutionary, Afrikan (cause that’s what I am), cultural, traditional, rites, rituals and ways of living in order to raise the level of humanity in all of us.  The characters are fictional however the history, research, information, sacred rites, “Sage Wisdoms” and lessons given in the books are factual and intended to help foster a more holistic way of operating and interact in our relationships. The characters also deal with real issues that each of us face in our journey of spiritual enlightenment and physical satisfaction; teaching or reminding us how to operate from our higher selves and have healthier ways of thinking and acting.

“Confessions of a Faithful Woman” was an in your face “let’s talk about sex” foot in the door for this series.  It dealt with everything from sexual orientation, to sexual repression to swinging from an Afrikan centered (if you will) perspective. The stories were written from many different points of views and mindsets that ranged from monogamous to heterosexual to polyamorous to celibate to sexually fluid and back again. It merely scratched the surface to shake the status quo up a bit and prepare readers for the longer journey to come.

“Confessions of a Sage Woman” on the other side of the coin slides readers more deeply into the knowledge of the sacred sexual and holistic lifestyle.  Several of the characters from the first book are expanded upon and there are “recipes” that inform the reader in a more formal manner about holistic living and creating a more sacred way of living and operating. This book also introduces new characters and addresses things like depression, rape, abuse and other barriers to our healing and advancing. Yet it still has the same erotic flow and vibe that the series is intended to have

I write from my personal knowledge, research, initiation, relationships, values, perspectives and worldview and put the most intimate parts of myself on papers for the world to see and hopefully utilize for their evolution.  I hope that each book takes the reader farther into themselves and their connection to the universe. 

As always I appreciate you for taking the time to read and think about what I have shared.  I look forward to you sharing with me as well about your experience reading the series or dealing with some of the things in the books.

 

Dancing Frees Me

A friend shared with me this piece about the first time they met me...

"She came to dance; alone she took the dance floor.

Like a pendulum her hips swayed,

Sending vibrations stronger than winds from all four corners.

Her neck rolled to the rhythm, head turning freely,

with no concern that she was alone on the dance floor.

Her black is beautiful.

Locs hanging like vines of the jungle as she showed what true nature was.

She danced."

For me dancing is a way of connecting to spirit, healing, releasing, communicating and arousing the energy in myself and others.  From very young we are bobbing our heads, clapping our hands and moving our feet to the beat; it just comes naturally to us.

Throughout history people have used song and dance as intricate parts of their lives and culture to mark and celebrate significant transition in life.  Dancing has also been used to send people into spiritual trance, enlightenment, sacred sexual rites, and as a way to initiate special into different spiritual systems.

If you have come across me around some good music you know that I dance WHEREEVER I am.  Sometimes it is the words, sometimes it is the beat, sometimes it’s the emotions of the artist but it is always something that is sparked within me to move.

Fast, slow, grinding, stepping, African, with a group of people or all alone.  I connect to the music and let it take me on a journey of mind, body and spirit. My body expresses my pleasure with the music, the vibe, the people… life.  It is good and fulfilling. I love when people join me on this journey but I also love to take it alone without reservations or restraint.

I love to flow with the music allowing it to move through me and use me to express itself in human form (Yeah.. It’s like that). Unless I’m interested in sharing that moment with someone else I never notice who is watching, who else is dancing or even the effect I may be having on people.  But there are times (whether Im interested or not) that I can hear the music calling itself forth in others wanting to be expressed through them and I gravitate to them and we dance as one expression to the music and the energy of that moment.  It is very personal and not personal at all.

Dancing is arousing, sensual, pleasurable, erotic, spiritual, captivating and empowering.  I think we all should dance more every chance we get.  You will see in my series "Confessions... of a" how much music and dancing is a part of the experience in the stories and poems.

I just have one question: Will you dance with me?

 

S & M: It’s as easy as riding a bike (Confessions of a faithful reader)

In my last post "Ask me anything.... anonymously" I opened up for readers to share with me and for me to share with you all.  I received this very open piece about S&M from a reader.  I want to thank the reader for sharing with me so candidly and allowing me to share it with you all.  Please take a moment to read AND give your feedback.  Remember you can always post anonymously ;)

 

Dear Milele,

I felt the need to write you about my situation and how you helped. Here it goes………

It’s as easy as riding a bike

People use this phrase to describe many things like driving a car, tying your shoes, even having sex but for some once you decide you like to be tied up and told how to ride the bike, going to just regular riding is a bit hard. See I was in an S&M relationship for several years; after the “Shades” book series or reading ZANE which many of you should be familiar with it.  S&M: the terms sadist and masochist specifically refer to one who either enjoys giving pain (sadist), or one who enjoys receiving pain (masochist), many practitioners of sadomasochism describe themselves as at least something of a switch, or someone who can receive pleasure from either inflicting or receiving pain. I was a submissive and he was dominating the majority of the time. Sometimes the roles would change.  This means that the majority of our sexual encounters where situations created by him. I was told what to wear, how to stand and what to do. I enjoyed the role play and being tied up and spanked. For me this had become “normal” sex.   I was accustomed to receiving a text that would say. “On Friday at 10:00 a.m. have on a white button front shirt with tie and a red bra.  Your hair must be able to be held or grabbed, knee length socks and black heels.  Sit on the kitchen chair on your behind with your hands on your knees: palms up.  If you don’t do as told you will be spanked with the item of my choosing.”  I grew to love this. It was fun, freeing and exciting.  After the relationship ended I started to date again only to end up not feeling sexually fulfilled. Many of the men didn’t like that type of thing or I just didn’t bring it up out of fear.  With these issues I chose to be celibate. So now I have to figure out how to introduce my partner into my bike riding style.  I was sexually frustrated and feeling hopeless then one day this very blog helped me. Milele: You said the following “Wait… bad sex can be meaningful and meaningful sex can be bad. Sex is like having a meal. What you put into it is what you get out of it.”  I realized I never told my severer how I like my dish, just that I wanted it. So from here on forward my bike ride will come with full detailed instructions to ensure all participants enjoy the ride.

I thank you for your blog and book and your words of motivation and encouragement.

Sincerely,

Optimistic Bikerider

Ask me anything.... anonymously

Hello good people!!!!!!!
I hope all is well with you and yours. 
Time and time again people approach me telling me that they wanted to comment, ask a question, rebuttal or otherwise respond to one of my posts, stories, tweets, comments, etc.  When I ask them why they didn't  it is usually because how they think their friends, family, mates, coworkers, children or society in general would respond or think of them.  I always tell them they could have inboxed me and I would post it anonymously.   It never once dawned on me that maybe they didn't want me to know who they were either.  So I decided to make this post so whomever has anything to say, ask, share or vent about can do it without even me knowing who they are. 

Just a reminder these are some things I have discussed before:
Sex talk
White privilege
Needing people
Oppressions and "isms"
Fasting and cleansing
Black pride
Celestial events....
 
In the comments ask your questions, make your statements, share your view, about anything I have posted, written, said, talked about, give a review of "Confessions of a faithful woman", or anything else you need to get out without anyone knowing.   I do ask that we all reframe from being bigoted or mean spirited on our post.  If you cant find a way to say it positively you probably don't believe it strong enough.

Sex talk: What are we REALLY saying?

I was having a conversation with a friend about “Sex talk” and the rules surrounding it.

It was a very spirited and funny conversation.  It made me think of all my encounters past present and future and laugh a good belly laugh. There is something about being in the throes of arousal and pleasure that causes us (all of us) to string words together so eloquently.  Most of us understand that “sex talk” should be taken seriously DURING intercourse but should be taken very lightly at any other time. That does not mean the person who is “sex talking” is being dishonest, but, like any other intoxicant, sex causes the brain to respond to stimuli in a less that normal manner.  For example if someone were to ummmm lets say put their hands gingerly around your throat (randomly popped in my head)  while you were somewhere in a common setting (work, school, meetings) the response would be different than if someone were to do it during intercourse. Sex Talk should not be confused with talking about sex,although talking about sex could naturally lead to “sex talk” if done correctly. 
Sex Talk: conversation that occurs during foreplay, sexual intercourse (blending) of any kind and occasionally immediately following. 

Common standard phrases with translation

 

I love you
1.) I love how I am feeling with you…. Right now
2.) These sensations are causing a spike in my emotional capacity
3.) I am fond of you
3.) I actually love you (not likely)

Put it in!

Although I am sure that you plan on penetration happening during this session I would like for you to do that sooner rather than later.  Like right now!

Im about to cum/Im cumming

For men it simply means the man is about to cum or is in the process of cumming.
For women it means: if you continue to do EXACTLY what you are doing for an extended period of time I will eventually have and orgasm. Usually followed or preceded by “Don’t stop”

It’s yours

I am enjoying what you are doing so much that I would like for you to be the one to do it again.

I’m yours

Im yours…… right now (this is a time sensitive statement)

You’re the best (I have ever had)

You are performing very well at this moment. (Also time sensitive)

Don’t stop

Don’t fucking stop or don’t stop fucking depending on how you want to look at it.
*note* Don’t stop refers to the EXACT thing you are doing at the time it is said.  This is not the time to be creative and throw in a new move. Don’t stop is usually followed by Im about to cum (see instructions above)

Ride it!

Generally used by men to express the desire for their partner to straddle them and move rhythmically up and down on their penis.

Eat it!

Generally used by women to express the desire for cunnilingus to be performed well

Suck it!
Generally used by men to express the desire for fellatio to be performed well

Oooohhh *insert explicative*

I really like that

It’s talking to you/ It’s talking to me (“She” can be used interchangeably)

Because of the actions that are currently taking place there are sounds that are being produced that would not normally be audible

Did you get bigger?  It feels like you are bigger.

That statement refers to the penis and is used as an indication of 1.)A distinct feeling that may not have been felt before 2.) The penis is more erect that usual 3.) The penis is causing pleasure that is larger that life 4.) Pain; not enough pain to stop but to possibly ease up

Common “do harm to me” phrases with translation

“Do harm to me” as I like to call them are phrases that are given in “instruction” form.  These phrases state an action that the speaker would like for their partner to do at the time of intercourse.  There are too many to cover but several are listed below

Choke me

Slap me
Spank me
Pull my hair
Bite me
______ me harder (can be borderline)
Pound it! Hit it! Beat it up! (referring to the use of the penis as a thrusting devise)

*Note* translations can very depending on situations.  Also if you feel the need to defend your “sex talk” you need some help this is for fun

Feel free to add more this is a continuous post and more will be translated later

"UIB interviews author, Milele, about her book, "Confessions of a Faithful Woman."

Please take a moment (bout 30 min) to listen to the open interview about love, sex, relationships, spirit, oppression and so much more. As I prepare the second book in the "Confessions..." series I would like for you to get to know me better.

Feel free to leave your comments or questions or opinion I LOVE hearing from each of you.

As always I appreciate everyone who takes their time out.

Share with me...

"Not into THAT kinda stuff..."

It is always interesting to me when I hear people speak about how they are "not into THAT kinda stuff" when it comes to their "sexuality". What puzzles me more is "THAT kinda stuff" usually refers to making the experience more natural, holistic, loving, spiritually connected and human. Let’s face it…

WE ALL HAVE SEX or PLAN TO HAVE sex one day and EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE IS DOING IT.

So why are we hesitant to talk about it, explore it, use the energy, share it, honor it? 

We have been taught it is “bad, dirty, deprived, perverted, etc” AND we continue to accept those perspectives as reality.  When we see a child touching themselves and others we reprimand them and teach them that is “bad or a no-no” yet we expect them to later readjust their thinking to be in a healthy sexual relationship with another human being.  We wont even touch on the fact that must of us are “Conditioned to be unhappy” *later blog post :)* 

So since I wrote a book about it I think that we should talk about it.  Actually it is the other way around, I thought we should talk about it and feel good about it so I wrote a book about it.

Well let’s break it all the way down and get the root of things…. Sex the way we use it is slang.  The Etymology of the word is as follows:

 1382, from Middle French sexe, from Latin sexus (“gender”). Thought to be connected with Latin seco, secare (“divide, cut”) by the concept of division, or 'half' of the racelate 14c., "males or females collectively," from L. sexus "state of being either male or female, gender." "Commonly taken with seco as division or 'half' of the race" [Tucker], which would connect it to secare "to divide or cut" (see section). Meaning "quality of being male or female" first recorded 1520s. Meaning "sexual intercourse" first attested 1929

Not to get too heavy in to it but “sex” refers to gender so we all have “sex”.  From birth we have “sex” or a “sex”.  What we call sex is really coitus but wait… that only refers to penis into vagina and we ALL know what we do it more than that (it is ok to laugh).  Sexual intercourse wasn’t used to 1929 yes 1929 and we all know humans have been “having sex” since the beginning of time

My point is let it go… “Sex” is a misnomer.  It is a word that we use to express the joining of divine energies.  I like to refer to it as “blending or engaging or even intercourse”. 

It is a wonderful journey of enjoyment, arousal, excitement, recreation, procreation and enlightening to be experienced by EVERY human being in some shape form or fashion.

When you are “not into THAT kinda stuff” you are not into understand The Universe and your role in it. You are not into experiencing the essence of another and sharing yours with them. You are not into tapping into The Creator and the divine understanding that cums with a *Cosmic Orgasm* (later post). You are not into tapping into your divine self. You are not into healing, enlightenment and evolution. You are not into blending with a another human to the point of ecstatic pleasure.  YOU’RE NOT INTO THAT????

Ohhhh….right “That’s not sex… it is something else” Well maybe we ALL need to be doing “something else” and not “having sex”.

A wise person once said (something like) “You have sex like you live.” 

How are you living?  How do you have sex?  

Me...? Open, loving, unfettered and wonderfully!!!!!

Would you...

put me on your lips and allow my juice to run down your throat satisfying your deepest thirst until I am empty then fill me up again?
open me up stretching my spine as far as it will go while stroking and sliding inside me sharing your deepest thoughts with me?
run your fingers across me until you found the right spot playing with me again and again filling me with as many of your desires as possible pushing me to my brink causing me to supply whatever you demanded of me?
slide me up and down, flip me back and forth, finger me, taking me everywhere you wanted, causing me to light up with every touch?
take off all your clothes and climb inside of me stretch all the way out, move around until you found the perfect spot to rest your head, close your eyes and let your fantasies run wild?
make me spin around and around, lick your fingers and move them across my valleys causing me to stutter until you release me and allow me to finish my thoughts while singing the rhythms you create with me?
wrap me around your body and get me wet while I caress your arms, legs, head, chest, ass, face?
use me to catch you life juices after you have been heighten beyond belief?
allow me to fall from your lips arousing all those around and sharing you with the world while keeping your
true self secret to only those divine enough to understand what you really are?
do all of the above and even more to my psyche, body and essence while taking me to new heights, exhausting me and reviving me at the same time?


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